I think I’d play Sburb.
Which sounds crazy, yeah, but here’s my reasoning. [under the cut so I don’t stretch people’s dashes.]
I think I’d play it because I’ve always wanted to be the hero.
Which sounds so fucked up. But here’s why.
I’ve always wanted to be a hero. That girl everyone looks up to and loves and admires and thinks “Wow, she’s so great. She’s amazing. She can do _____, _____, and even _____! I wish I was like her. She’s so strong! She’s so smart!”
I used to read books, and I used to wait in the woods by my house for the main characters to come find me. I had fantasies of Eragon and Saphira decending from the treetops and whisking me off to The Spine to fight Urgals. I thought that, one day, Shadowclan would bound from the foliage and curl around my legs and take me to their camp to help them.
Predictably, none of this ever happened.
I spent my childhood dreaming and hoping to meet my heroes, and work with them, and make them like me. Because nobody else liked me. I didn’t have friends. I had a cat, and I had books. I made due with what I had.
I used to dream about me getting sick. Cancer, Lupus. About me dying. About kids regretting how horribly they treated me. Coming to apologize to me. Becoming friends with me. Realizing how I wasn’t that weird fat girl who loved dragons a little too much. Realizing that I was Danielle, and I was - and still am - lonely.
Later, these daydreams escalated to be saving people. From a fire. From a school shooting. From insane, unpredictable stunts based on fantasy. Things that would never happen in real life. I would dream them up, and each and every time, I was the hero. I would die - but I’d die the hero, and everybody would love me.
I am not meant for this world.
My bones tell me this. They’re too heavy. They’re filled with lead. My blood is too hot and my skin is too cool. Every day, I boil from the inside out.
The things I see tell me this. They mock me. They try to chase me from this world. The Wolven, The Faceless, Hunched, Masked… they know I do not belong here. They are trying to free me. To get me to leave.
I know I need to leave; but I don’t know where I have to go. I don’t know where I should be.
But I know it is not here.
So I would play Sburb. Because it was pose as the perfect chance for me to find where I belong. Because it would pose as the perfect oppertunity for me to become the hero - even if I must die to achieve it.